When I was 13 or 14 years old, I started experimenting with alcohol just like everyone else in my age group.
But unlike everyone else and unbeknownst to me at the time, both of my parents were alcoholics. I also started taking these little white pain pills my mom had (they turned out to be 10mg OxyContin pills). The pills seemed to be “just a phase” and, of course, life went on.
When I was 19, I had to get my wisdom teeth removed. The doctor prescribed me Percocet and it was love at first sight. From that day on, I started taking a few pills one day a week just to be able to enjoy my day. Pills weren’t really hard to find because my mother had them and I knew all of her hiding spots.
I had everything I ever wanted and needed. I had a great paying job as a dental assistant, a brand new car, and my own apartment. Everyone thought I was doing great. I even thought I was doing well.
Everything seemed fine until I met the 80 mg OxyContin pill. I was already well past using pills one day a week. Now, I needed to take something when I woke up every morning. On the streets, OxyContin was usually about 40 bucks a pill. It was a very expensive habit, so I usually stole the pills from my mom. Eventually she found out and what she said to me threw me for a loop. She said, “What are you going to do when I die?”
I didn’t even know how to respond to her, so I brushed it off and walked away.
On October 11, 2008 I was at work when I received a call from my boyfriend. He told me that my mother was dead. She was only 49 years old. I felt shock, disbelief, and denial.
The day of her viewing I took twelve 80mg OxyContin pills. I didn’t want to die; I just didn’t want to feel ANYTHING! My mother had been right – I couldn’t afford my OxyContin habit without stealing her pills.
I started taking methadone instead. After that, my life started going downhill fast. I lost my job and was close to losing my car. I needed a cheaper way to stay high and I found it – heroin. That’s the drug that brought me to my knees. While on heroin I did many things that I am not proud of. Things that I don’t want to remember. But the truth is that I have to own it.
Now, I can proudly say that I have been clean and sober since May 4, 2011. On November 18, 2011, I had a beautiful baby boy with my wonderful boyfriend who stuck by my side throughout my drug addiction. I am currently in the New Jersey drug court program and I am progressing very well. I will continue to get better with all the help and support that I have from my family and friends.