A Parent’s journey through Recovery with Son David
A Parent’s Nightmare
I could not believe this was happening to my precious family. Where did I go wrong? What have I done? I felt like I had failed as a mother and a parent. I was scared to death for my son’s life. David’s drug use had escalated from smoking pot to using pills. His behavior was erratic, scary, nasty, and belligerent. It was impossible to deal with him.
The Inspirations’ Solution
Both my husband and I were finally in agreement that there was a significant problem, and treatment was necessary. We reached out to many facilities in our local area, but I was not impressed with any of them. The severity of David’s drug use worsened and more despair set in. We decided to look at 30-day treatment programs, but there were very few programs accepting adolescents. We spent hours on the phone talking to many facilities. With God’s help, we were directed to Chris. I could not even tell you how or who gave me his name. I had literally spoken to over 50 people that afternoon. Chris explained to us all about his facility Inspirations. It had all the necessary components that we were looking for, such as individual, group, and family counseling. The only problem was that there was no way my son was going to get into a car or plane and agree to get help. Chris asked me to call Nathan Fears and discuss the case with him. There was confidence and a sense of understanding in Chris’s voice. I felt like I could trust him. I followed his advice and phoned Nathan.
Nathan spent an hour on the phone listening and explaining how serious this situation was. He explained how important 90 days of treatment is for adolescents. At that time, we were not ready to commit to such a long duration. But as the conversation continued, I realized Nathan has done this so many times before, and we need professional help. I also realized I did not have any expertise in this area. Finally, in my heart I knew what needed to be done, but I was not sure I could actually do it. It was the hardest thing I ever have done in my life. Was I really going to have my child picked up by a total stranger and be placed in a drug treatment center? Nathan worked diligently with my husband discussing all the scenarios. He started to break through our denial. It was days before we had the courage to call Nathan again.
The Decision to go with Inspirations
I called Nathan on a Saturday and said we were ready. We knew the right thing was to put David in treatment, and we needed Nathan’s help to get him there. He laid out a plan, and we followed it. We were at our rock bottom. I was in the process of a nervous breakdown and could not get out of bed or go to work. Within his last two months at home, I had lost 18 pounds. We realized our lives became unmanageable and we were powerless over the drugs. We all needed help badly.
Nathan arrived at 7:30 a.m. as planned. He was prepared and ready to get our family through the roughest point of our lives. He spent the first hours talking to me, my husband, and my 15-year old daughter. Previously, we were instructed to individually write a note to David stating how we felt about this whole situation. As we sat down, Nathan collected the notes and reassured us that this was not our fault, we did not cause it, we can’t control it, and we can’t cure David. We watched Nathan conduct the intervention in a professional, calm manner. My son did all the screaming and yelling and it did not even faze Nathan. He remained calm, which kept all of us calm on the outside and shaking on the inside. My son was not cooperative and we had to call the police before he was ready to go with Nathan voluntarily.
The Inspirations’ Journey Begins
As David was leaving I was scared for him; I knew he needed to be detoxed. I also had this sense of relief that he was with the right professional staff and would get the help he needed. Nathan remained in constant contact with us. I still did not believe David would need more than 30-days of treatment. I thought that it would be okay because we would simply detox him, give him a little therapy, and he would return home shortly after. Over the next month the staff at Inspirations had made great progress with David and us. We did come to believe that every 30-days of treatment and sobriety would give David more time to build on. Once we were on board, we decided he would stay 90 days. It was the best decision we ever made. We had realized this was not over, but just the beginning. David now has to learn how to live sober.
Nathan also had a plan for my husband, daughter, and me to get help from an addiction counselor and attend Al-Anon regularly. Al-Anon has been the best place for us to learn about the addict and how not to enable our son’s behavior. Nathan was also there to help us make better choices with David. Even today, we run things by Nathan before we say yes.
In summary I am so grateful for all the help, the guidance, and support we were given. David has completed his first year of college at Tulane University and has been sober for 17 months! Nathan visited New Orleans last fall to make sure all the pieces (counselor and sponsor) he put in place were working. We are so proud of all David’s hard work, but without the help of our extended family at Inspirations, we would not be here today!
DAVID R’S PARENTS